This is one of the most common and disturbing questions people ask when they discover a co-worker, family member, or friend who has remained in an abusive relationship for any amount of time. And the longer a victim has stayed, the harsher the judgement that is delivered with that question.
This simple question actually helps perpetuate the destructive cycle of abuse and places incredible amounts of guilt on the victims who have already suffered enough. Let’s help society get involved and start supporting victims instead of punishing them with ignorant statements and questions.
Yesterday, I watched a Ted Talk video presentation on this topic by a domestic abuse survivor (see link below). Her name is Morgan Steiner and she wrote the book Crazy Love. This talk clearly and simply explains the answer to this very important question and is WORTH watching and sharing with anyone and everyone. Domestic violence touches ALL of us in some way, shape or form, whether most people realize it or not. An informed understanding of this issue throughout society is vital to putting a stop to the cycle of abuse.